10 Things I Will do Differently in Managing Relationship as a Leader ~ Andrew Abah

The Bible has been very insightful in my journey leadership. I sometimes wish I knew all I know now when I began to lead as a student in 1983 and later as a mission leader in 1989. It would have saved me a lot of setback and apparently, the work God committed into my hands as a leader in the missions enterprise would have flourished more than it did. It is however not too late as I am daily adjusting in a number of ways and have liberty of sharing my experiences knowing that upcoming leaders can take advantage of my failures and never make same mistakes. Can we read together Romans 12:9-21 and use it as context for managing relationship in Leadership:

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

There can be no leadership without followership as the leader cannot do it alone. He needs the team to work with. The people make up the team and they are indispensable in accomplishing the goal. Unfortunately, many leaders may fail not because they are not energetic, brilliant and visionary but because they don’t know how to cultivate and sustain relationship. The above passage will be very helpful for leaders to use in cultivating wholesome relationship as it prescribes the character every leader needs to succeed. We will outline ten of the precepts here:

1.     Respect: Every leader wants to be respected. It is important to stress here that the leader must also respect everyone including even those that oppose them. Leaders must learn to esteem others better than themselves. They must recognize the worth and the value of the other person. No matter how little, everyone has intrinsic value because they are made in the image of God. This includes the most incapable, degraded and handicapped alike. The leader must recognize that value. When you honor the person, you enrich yourself because you surround yourself with people of worth.

The team members should be recognized also because their performance and achievement. They should be commended and appreciated publicly and privately. This can be expressed through the tone of voice, the look of the eyes and other non-verbal means. Putting an arm an arm around the shoulder pr giving them a worm hearted huge can go a long way. Being present with them on their important occasion will also mean so much to them.

2.     Understand your team members: We must take time to know those that work with us. Many times, the leader wants to be understood instead of understanding others. Leaders must deal with the selfish attitude. You cannot manage people you don’t know and cannot develop relationship when you don’t know them. To know a person will require you drawing closer to the person. This may take some time but the leader must work on it consciously. It will mean that you don’t restrict your relationship to formal setting so that people can relax and socialize. Leadership. Leaders can visit their team members even at homes. Be friendly with them. Share food and fellowship. Participate in life events like marriage, funeral, naming ceremony, etc. Laugh and weep together. Friendship is essential in understanding your members.

3.     Express Love and kindness as much as possible. No one can truly develop a true relationship without love.  In times of sickness, visit them. Offer some help in times of financial stress. Such help will improve on the bonding. This bonding will enhance the relationship. Sometimes, team members can go through challenges like accident, death, heavy burdens, etc. These challenges present opportunities for leaders to express their love.

4.     Avoid favoritism: The need to be fair to everyone cannot be overemphasized. When favor one person more than the other openly, it will be detrimental to the work generate ill-will. The Leader must therefore watch out for various possible sources which could generate favoritism and avoid it. They are: (a)   Tribe (b)  Clan (c)   Education (d)  Class (e)   Personality and personal interest

5.     Be Gracious: It is normal for team members to sometime fall short of expectation. Harmonious relationship will require that we forgive and move forward. Sometimes, not meeting, up to time schedule schedule can be very painful but let us be flexible and gracious. A leader must recognize the wrinkles in the members and accept them. We are different in personalities with strength and weaknesses which attracts and repels. No matter how you try some cannot be reformed.

6.     Capacity building: The leader must show personal interest in team members to help them grow and develop to reach their God-giving potentials. Long or short term training may be helpful. This can be in the workplace or somewhere else. Such training enhances productivity as well as encourages the individual.

7.     Vision: The leader must not assume that the team members already understand the vision. Take time share your vision in such a way that everyone will be on the same page. The need to refresh people’s mind on this cannot be overemphasized because Continuous refreshment will generate more support by the team members because they are the foot soldiers that will implement the vision.

8.     Avoid embarrassing your team members. Correction is inevitable as you work together. How it is carried out determines the result it generates. If you correct in private it will be more productive than when you correct in front of others. For many, if you correct them in the presence of others they consider it as embarrassment. When a controversial issue emerge in a meeting, it is best to suspend the agenda. Check on the person in concern privately to sort out the issue. The misunderstanding will only be deepened if you press on with the matter in a group.

9.     Build trust: For any meaningful success to be achieved the leader must cultivate a relationship of trust. This will require that both the leader and the team members must trust one another. The leader in particular must work hard to demonstrate that he is trust worthy. Character and competency are very crucial here. Character consists of honesty, truthfulness, purity and holiness. The leader must be beyond reproach in all this areas. If the team member must trust their leader, he must be transparent. The leader must be opened, self discipline is absolutely essential in any leadership. Nobody will trust you if they don’t know you and they cannot know you unless you reveal yourself.

10. Work with the team:  When the team leader assign work, he must also join in working or else he/she will be giving a wrong signal that he/she is not sharing in the burden. Action speaks louder than voice. A wise leader must himself serve. He/she must come down to the level of everybody.